


Let My Arms Take All The Stress Away

by epsilon_eta



Series: Old Love But In Shapes That Renew [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, alex is afraid of thunderstorms, and aaron calms him down as best as he can, mention of reincarnation, part of olbistr verse, the author reflected his anxiety onto poor alexander, we're getting there guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 18:46:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7519225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epsilon_eta/pseuds/epsilon_eta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron was lying in bed, suddenly awake but not knowing what had woken him. The room was still dark so he looked at the clock standing on the bedside table, 3:13am. Then suddenly - bam - thunder. Only then did Aaron register the heavy pitter patter of the rain on the window. He generally liked storms, as long as he was inside during them, but it was probably what had woken him up so he hated it in that moment. He groaned and rolled over, originally planning to wrap his arm around Alexander and go back to sleep, but he was met with an empty bed. It was something Aaron was used to, his boyfriend was prone to working late and falling asleep on the couch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let My Arms Take All The Stress Away

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello hello!! welcome back and hey to all new readers! this is part of the olbistr verse but it can be seen as a stand alone fic.  
> basically my anxiety is triggered by sudden loud noises but thunderstorms kind of??? dont?? i dont know im weird. anYWays alex's panic attacks are a lot like my own so ??? i like to make him suffer tbh. also the beginning sounds kind of weird to me?? but i didnt know how to fix it so here u go  
> this is unbeta'd because baby girl is at work and im inpatient  
> title is taking from the song our love (is so good) by christopher jackson (yes gwash. yall should listen to that album, its bomb)

Aaron was lying in bed, suddenly awake but not knowing what had woken him. The room was still dark so he looked at the clock standing on the bedside table, 3:13am. Then suddenly - bam - thunder. Only then did Aaron register the heavy pitter patter of the rain on the window. He generally liked storms, as long as he was inside during them, but it was probably what had woken him up so he hated it in that moment. He groaned and rolled over, originally planning to wrap his arm around Alexander and go back to sleep, but he was met with an empty bed. It was something Aaron was used to, his boyfriend was prone to working late and falling asleep on the couch.

 

Aaron had tried moving him once, but Alex had woken up in his arms and almost immediately panicked because he wasn’t lying on the couch anymore, instead in somebody’s arms moving him somewhere. It was something that they both didn’t like remembering because, for the second time since they met, Alex had punched him in the face. He had felt horrible about it, but Aaron assured him that it was fine, that it was an accident. That still didn’t stop Alex from smothering his boyfriend with kisses and cuddles in the next few days.

 

The thing about tonight however was that Alex’s side of the bed was still warm, so he had to have been in the bed for a while before leaving. Aaron looked over to the door which was thrown wide open, but the light wasn’t on in the bathroom. He almost panicked, thinking that Alex had finally left him for good, but he calmed down. Alex promised that he wasn’t going anywhere so just for the time being, Aaron pressed the fear away and sat up to move out of the bedroom and search for his boyfriend. 

 

A flash of lightning lit up the room for a split second, almost immediately a boom of thunder followed. A picture quickly flashed in Aaron’s mind, his arms around a quivering body while a storm raged outside. He willed the memory to go away, now wasn’t the time to have a flashback. Aaron wanted to head to the kitchen first, see if Alex had got hungry and was preparing a snack for himself, but a tiny sob stopped him in his track.  _ Alex. _ Maybe he had hurt himself or, worse, someone had come in and hurt him. 

 

He raced into the living room where the sound had come from to first see Alexander’s open laptop sitting on the table. More sobs were coming from the couch however, where his boyfriend lay, curled up in himself and shivering like a leaf.  _ Something must have happened, fuck.  _ Was it John, Mulligan or Lafayette? Or the Schuylers? Maybe even Thomas or James, Alex had got along with them better than anyone had thought.

 

“Alex?” Aaron called out, moving over to the piece of furniture, but his boyfriend didn’t react at all. “Alexander?” He repeated, but nothing happened again. Aaron was squatting in front of the couch, when he heard Alex repeating “I can’t find them” over and over again. Aaron frowned and looked around. 

 

“What can’t you find?” He asked, but like before, Alexander didn’t answer, just kept repeating the same sentence, only interrupted by his sobs. Without anything better to do, Aaron reached out, trying to see how his boyfriend would react because sometimes touch was good, sometimes it was bad. Luckily, today touching seemed to soothe Alexander because he leaned into Aaron’s hand when he stroked his cheek.

 

Aaron straightened up and sat behind Alex on the couch, then moved to entangle his arms that were wrapped tightly around his own knees. His grip was incredibly strong but Aaron eventually got him to let go, though it wasn’t long until Alexander had wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck likes vines and was sobbing into his chest, reminding him of all the hugs they shared, Alex’s arms around his neck and laughing into Aaron’s chest. The sobbing was a heart breaking sound and Aaron felt a twinge in his chest. Alex usually was so passionate and alive that it hurt to see him like this, unable to form coherent thoughts.

 

Another boom of thunder sounded, Alex’s entire body spasmed and he tightened his arms around Aaron’s neck. 

 

“I’m going to die. I can’t survive this again.” He changed his mantra from before to that and in that moment it hit Aaron; of course Alex was scared of thunderstorms, it probably reminded him too much of the hurricane he had faced in his former life. It hurt that the events of the past life still had such an impact, but Aaron knew exactly how much they could hurt.

 

“Shh, Alex, it’ll be fine. The storm will pass.” He started stroking his boyfriend’s hair as well as he could, the notion normally calmed him down but he was still sobbing and not reacting in any way. Aaron wished he could make the storm go away, to stop scaring and hurting Alexander,  _ his _ Alexander. 

 

“I’m here, Alex, and I’m here to stay. I won’t go anywhere.” He tried again, pressing a kiss to the other’s temple. They were lying on the same couch they almost always ended up on if one of them or even both were upset. It’s where they talked during their first day together, it’s where James and Thomas had found them making out a week later, it’s where they decided to move in together and where they had told each other of their childhoods. 

 

The rain was still coming down heavy but the thunder along with the lightning had almost ceased by then. Alex however was still shaking, but he at least stopped talking about how he was going to die so Aaron saw it as improvement. A last lightning bolt lit up the room and then the storm moved on. The rain changed from heavy drops to a light drizzle, the world became quieter or as quiet as it could get in New York City and Aaron breathed a sigh of relief. As soon as it came through that it had stopped, Alexander would start to calm down and then they could move back to bed, the next day was off after all.

 

“Alex?” Aaron whispered when his boyfriend’s body went from shaking violently to small shivers. He could feel Alex’s breathing even out and his lashes fluttering against his neck. Then Alexander stiffened, but relaxed when he realized who he was lying on. He moved his head to look towards the window, seeing the rain steadily hitting the window with tiny droplets.

 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered eventually, his voice hoarse. “I should have told you.” Aaron nodded.

 

“You should have but I understand why you wouldn’t. Now I know though, so if it happens again I know what to do.” Alexander nodded tiredly and moved as to fall asleep on his boyfriend’s chest but Aaron chuckled and stood up, dragging the other to the bedroom with him. As soon as they hit the bed, Alex cuddled into him as much as he could. Aaron smiled fondly and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead.

 

“I love you.” Alexander whispered while rubbing his face into Aaron’s neck and taking a deep breath.

 

“I love you too.” Aaron murmured back before closing his eyes. They were so going to sleep in tomorrow. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope u enjoyed this!! come talk to me at my tumblr petit-hammie, my twitter @petit_hammie and my instagram petit_hammie. comments and kudos are greatly appreciated and i will love u forever! have a good one


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